Thursday, January 19, 2006

A Resting Place

A Resting Place

Clutter! It annoys me, yet, here I sit, waist deep in it. My office is my thinking, creative space. All the things that make-up my present life have a piece of it sitting in here, somewhere. My desk, my computer, pictures of family, important papers for my parents(medicare, insurance etc.), auction finds, auction junk, my old records(45's & 33's)that definitly define my age, bills and receipts, memento's etc.

One room away is my kitchen. Immaculate! To the left is my family and living room. No clutter to be found, anywhere! But I really don't live in there.

Let me tell you first, I am a bonifide, long time, without hope, clean freak. I'm also a nagger to my family (although I am trying to reform).I'd rather think I was a creative organizer in their life. I raised my children to pick up after themselves and every one of them do a mean job of cleaning toilets and scubbing floors. I'm sure I drove them nuts growing up, but I do get thank-you's from my daughter-in-laws, so it can't be all bad.

So...coming to grips with my own mess is very humbling. How did I get here? How do I get out of here, literally?

As I've pondered this today, God brought me a great reminder. It doesn't take long, when my eyes are on everyone else's mess and ignore my own, for it to build up in huge proportions, one piece at a time. At first it's just laying something down(not dealing with a problem right away)for a little while until I find a place for it. Then it's throwing something on top of that(not thinking about the former problem, because I'm too busy dealing with today's challenges)mentally making a note to find a place for both items. Before I know it, I'm off collecting more interesting stuff because I'm too overwhelmed with what to do with the stuff I pile up at home( adding more reponibilites and committments to my life)now I'm frustrated with all of it and pile it higher and deeper. Finally I'm at the point I cannot see the first item anymore and for all purposes, cannot remember what it's worth was, (nor, can I see the problems I never dealt with, nor do I care.

But God...He has a way of seeing all of it, and he doesn't forget, nor does he not care. He will let us box ourselves in until we cry out for help. He will gently remind us to clean our own space before we bring more stuff in or try to clean someone else's.

I will make an attempt to find my way out of my office, today...into his resting place.



Paula said...

This is truly beautiful and well-written. Thanks so much for taking the time to share your insights with us.

ScrollSquirrel said...

Saw your post on ACFW. Your heart comes through passionately in your have nothing to worry about. Thanks for sharing your blog, it was a privilege to be here. Cheryl Wyatt (Squirrel)

susie said...

Wow, How exciting is that. People do read these things. Thank you Paula, Cheryl and Diann for your great encouragement. This will be fun. I will learn so much from all of you.

Kylee Jo said...

Hey Grandma,
Im sure if i come over we can fix that office. I love you..
Kylee Jo