Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Hi everyone,

We are into summer whether the calender says so or not. It is going to be HOT! 90 degrees plus. Our calender is broken into spring, summer, fall and winter. It gives us order and a time to plan. I understand what goes into the timing of the seasons and it is much more intricate then picking a date. But, even knowing that, we order our world around our own description of seasons or life.

When summer falls into spring, or we have a winter day in August, it makes me think of how much of life is truly out of our control. We can organize it, delegate it, officially proclaim it and plan on it on a regular basis. But, only God can ordain it. God made them and he is in control.

More and more, I've come to realize how little I have control in my own life. I can consult experts, friends, Internet, TV and philosophers for advice. Well meaning and educated as they may be, mostly, it's a shot in the dark at best. Not to say I shouldn't take those steps in getting good information, but, in the end, my reliance on answers and what my future holds is in the hands of the almighty God.

Here is a for instance: Most of you know what major changes the last year has brought to our family, Jim and I, in particular. Not only did his accident change him forever, but, major life changes came as a result. We had to move out of our home of 9 years to a much smaller rental. God was in it and provided the right people, the right house at the right time. That saying, it was still a major hassle trying to sort, pitch and place 3x worth of stuff into a 1/3 or size house. Parting with long ago, accumulated items was a chore. We still have to find place for things that don't fit here, but are wanted or needed. What to pitch, what to keep, what to give. The cleansing was good as it showed me what I knew in my heart to be true, I didn't need all of that. God already knew.

I did my best to sort, organize and plan how to do this. I sought family advice, Internet advice, friend advice and help. It was to all come together in a short amount of time, but, 7 months later I am still dealing with it. Here is the catch. We only had 6 months to stay here before we had to decide to move or buy. Again, I sought advice, searched for answers(and houses). Deadline fast approaching and the present house looking like it wasn't an option, I listed all the needs we must fill at the top: a space in the house for Jim to work, do his art and feel at peace. It had to meet the money and timing criteria and still fit in what we have, and, last us for a long time.(Jim doesn't do change well.) All my organization, consulting and planning should have produced the end result. But here I am, still waiting and the time for decision making has come and gone. Panic is coming up in the rear.

So, what does all of this have to do with the seasons and it being hot? Well, just like we have a time and description for the seasons, it doesn't always come about as planned. And the obvious is, God is the author of the seasons, as well as our lives, and if he so chooses to put a summer day in the spring, so be it. If I could only get it straight in my life that he has the same control over me, because I gave him my life long ago. Of course, my plan was much different. It was all mapped out in my head. My my, if that plan would have worked and came to fruition, we would have all been in trouble, I'm sure. But thankfully, he knows me, in the truest sense. And, although I believe he wants me to continue to plan the course of my life, he expects me to expect changes, his changes, so I can be molded to his character while he sifts my descriptions of life and molds them to his.

It is an adventure, if we choose to see the path ahead, and after all. I am not alone.

1 comment:

Joni said...

I can't begin to imagine the journey you are both on, but I do know He's still in control.

You are continually in my prayers!